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Joke of the Day

"[Job Interview] How would you describe your time management skills? Me: Can we talk about this later? I'm late for an appointment."

"Some of those Mardi Gras beads could serve a dual purpose. Don't act like you hadn't thought about it."

"The Americans are using a new type of rocket that constantly updates its Facebook status until it reaches its target. It's an attention-seeking missile."

"When I catch my dog sleeping, I shave dicks into his fur."

"""I'm not racist but..."" - Britain"

"If Michael J. Fox was sick of his job as a valet He'd have ""valet Parkinson's"" disease"

"I remember 2010 like it was yesterday"

"Which came first, the chicken or the egg? Neither. The rooster did."

"Why couldn't Arnold Schwarzenegger run for president? Because he doesn't do cardio."

"""Pharaoh, we have completed the pyramids. They align to communicate with the galaxy"" Sweet. Hey look at these stupid cats I drew LOL"