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Joke of the Day

"People need to stop acting like animals have the same emotions as humans... ...they hate it when we do that."

"Christmas Presents To all those who received a book from me as a Christmas present... They are due back at the library today."

"I get all of my news from ""We Didn't Start The Fire"""

"Did you hear what happened to the man who ate too much spaghetti? He pasta way."

"You know what they say: Finding the right analogy is has hard as hmm..."

"More retailers should adopt the ""Leave A Penny / Take A Penny"" system. It is literally, common cents."

"As we develop robots, we should make them out of pretzels or cotton candy that way if they become self aware we could just eat them"

"Why is Ariana Grande called Ariana Grande? She is only 5 feet tall. Shouldn't she be called Ariana Petite?"

"The hell with a Klondike Bar, ask me what I'd do for a box of Girl Scout Cookies."

"It's better to be a worldwide alcoholic, than an Alcoholic Anonymous."