149

Joke of the Day

"I lost my virginity to a retarded girl last night. I wanted it to be special"

"I masturbated in the shower... I just wanted to come clean. Came up with this earlier, I guess it could've been relevant in /r/showerthoughts"

"Knock knock... Who's there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget :("

"What a gay guy's favorite type of medicine A Suppository."

"No matter how nice your kids are... ..German children are Kinder."

"A guy with a rock on his head hit someone and was charged with basalt and hattery."

"The past, the present and the future walked into a bar.... The situation was tense..."

"Missionary Impossible: When 2 fat people try to have sex."

"My suit made entirely of Hello Kitty Bandaids did not help me much at my hospital interview. Apparently you have to go to medical school."

"I'm trying to explain Twitter to this cop. He still wants to know why I'm driving naked."