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Joke of the Day

"saw license plate GODLSNS and am not sure whether it's God Listens or Godlessness. doin devil horns anyway"

"2,000 calories of junk food costs just $3.52 a day. 2,000 calories of dense nutritional foods costs $36.32 a day. No wonder people are fat."

"A sign on the Golden Gate Bridge reads: ""Now entering San Francisco, chains required... ...whips optional"""

"I never cry over spilt milk. But, beer? That shit's totally different."

"Today's word is Legs. Spread the word."

"Policeman: What do you think you're doing parking your car there? Motorist: I thought it was good place. It says ""Safety Zone."""

"What do you call a psychic midget on the run from the law? A small medium at large!!"

"A guy that was falsely imprisoned for 10 years got free tickets to the Super Bowl. That guy is SO lucky."

"Part time lover Is any benefit of part time lover. Scheduled time for any"

"How to get rid of crabs First, shave off half your pubes. Then light the other half on fire, as they run to the shaved side, stab them with a knife."