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Joke of the Day

"I know why all those Galaxy Note Sevens keep catching fire! My mix tape comes pre-installed on them."

"me: wow the stars are beautiful gf: omg babe they really are me: u know who else is beautiful? gf: *blushes* who? :3 me: Harambe"

"In Seattle, there's a code that states when two people are walking towards each other, the one with the bigger coffee cup passes first."

"What's the gayest way to die? Prince died from the flu ... Theraflu?"

"Every episode of my life starts with a short recap and the voice over says ""Previously on wasted potential..."""

"[NSFW] What's the worst thing about...? ....getting your keys locked in your car outside an abortion clinic? Having to go in to ask for a coat hanger. *Yet another Australian pub joke*"

"Why did the gamer refuse to join the Boy Scouts? He hates camping"

"I'm in business running a celebrity lookalikes agency... ...I'm trying to acquire some more Chers."

"Not to brag, but I've satisfied every waitress that's ever served me... With just the tip."

"Porn Ears? Q: What's the most sensitive part of your body when you're masturbating? A: Your ears."