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Joke of the Day

"The bra my boyfriend gave me is really uncomfortable. Sorry, I just had to get that off my chest."

"I always heard it was OK to date a nun... as long as you don't get into the habit."

"Ferguson Protestors looted a Payless Shoe store last night... Cleaned the place out, nothing left but work boots..."

"First rule of robbing banks is you have to shout, ""THIS IS A ROBBERY!"" Otherwise they might think it's a baptism."

"Having problems with my low-libido S.O., but last night she finally took one for the team! But when she got home she was completely exhausted and still didn't want to have sex with me."

"Teacher- ""what does a chicken give you?"" Students- ""Meat!"" Teacher- ""Good! Now what does the pig give you?"" Students- ""Bacon!"" Teacher- ""Great! Now what does a fat cow give you?"" Students- ""Homework!"""

"I've just raped a retarded virgin. Pure and simple."

"Did you hear about the paperboy who masturbated on the job? It was all over the news! (Can't remember where I heard this, so sorry if its a repost)"

"What do you get if you mix a rhetorical question and a joke?"

"Why doesn't a dog ever have a nose 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."