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Joke of the Day

"I laughed a lot harder than I should have Man: do you know why fat people are so comfortable? Lady: why? Man : because they eat so much comfort food"

"When I was a kid my older brother dared me to take a bite of a Monopoly board. It was a little gamey."

"If you come home n your dog gives you a lecture about smoking pot, you probably should lay off the acid too."

"How many Asians does it take to change a light bulb? 2. 1 to change the light bulb, the other to take pictures."

"what lives in a box and needs air? a U.S veteran."

"What do you call an escape artist dog? Basset Houndini"

"What do you call Santa's helpers? Subordinate Clauses."

"Damn girl are you a Scientology Church? Because after I come inside you I'm going to be thoroughly disappointed and end up paying large sums of money for the rest of my life just to leave."

"What is the best way to get over a guy/girl? Truck."

"I Thought having a vasectomy would stop my wife from getting pregnant... But apparently it just changes the colour of the baby"