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Joke of the Day

"My son can go from ""omg...you're impossible I can't wait until I'm 18!"" To ""you're the best mom ever"" in a matter of $100"

"[Rock Paper Scissors Best of 7 Championship] *down 3 games to 0 against Edward Scissorhands* MY COACH: Stop choosing paper!"

"TIL the host of Dirty Jobs is now a college proffesor who teaches students about money management and how spending affects the world around them. The course is called Mike Rowe Economics."

"Chantelle has 756 friends on Facebook. She adds 122, what does she have? Huge tits."

"What do you call a queue of boxers? A punchline."

"What did the alien say to the gardener? Take me to your weeder."

"My coworkers think I'm always busy but I'm really just trying to remember my password."

"Society has this weird perception that nurses are the most nurturing parents. My kids: My arm hurts when I move it!! Me: Then don't do it."

"Everyone should know at least how to fish... So everyone needs learn to be a master baiter."

"What do you get when the Pillsburry Doughboy bends over Dough nuts"