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Joke of the Day
"What did the alien say to the gardener? Take me to your weeder."
Next Joke
"Autocorrect doesn't recognize my gangsta nature."
"You know, we're not all that different from the Middle East You smoke weed here, you become stoned. You smoke weed there, you get stoned."
"What do women and Spotify ads have in common? They're both annoying and want your money."
"Snape: ""I think the Dark Lord has returned."" Potter: ""Are you serious?"" Snape: ""No, I'm Severus."""
"My doctor said i had to take something against my kleptomania... So i stole his wallet."
"why did the cookie go to the doctors? ... because he felt crumby!"
"First in my neighborhood to cut the grass and now the other husbands are looking at me like I reminded the teacher to assign homework."
"If you had more money you'd be happier."
"Is it against the law for postal workers to smile or was it my audacity to mail something?"