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Joke of the Day

"Why did the man cross the road? Because his dick was in the chicken!"

"Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind. Little Jimmy's dad walks into his son's room and says, ""Jimmy don't jack off, you'll go blind."" Little Jimmy: ""Dad I'm over here, in the living room..."""

"Why did it take so long to see a picture of Saint West? Because he was a Tidal exclusive."

"Saying Java is good because it works on Windows, Linux and Mac OS is like saying... Anal sex is good because it works on men, women, and animals."

"I want to pick up a hitchhiker before I die. Not like right before I die, but you know."

"*dumps more fleas on my head* *sits back down in front of chimpanzee* So, anyway, like I was saying..."

"Hitler wasn't such a bad guy. After all, he did kill Hitler."

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard, I was just laid by a chick."

"Not to brag or anything, but I scored 4 points on flappy bird before my phone mysteriously flung itself across the room"

"A fairy godmother but for breakups. She takes your phone and leaves alcohol and possibly your first cat."