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Joke of the Day

"What did the egg say to the pot of boiling water? It might take a while for me to get hard, I was just laid by a chick."

"My grandpa has the heart of a lion... ...and a lifetime ban from the local zoo."

"My preferred method of birth control is ""mood-killing repetitive DVD menu."""

"what do you call the offspring of two lesbians? A hermaphrodike"

"MRW a replacement professor enters the wrong class Oops, wrong sub."

"People who wait 3 hours to respond to a text ""LOL"" should be punched in the neck. Your not fooling anybody. You weren't LOLing that long."

"#BrexitIn5Words He's just not into EU"

"Do you know how to fry toilet paper? Neither do i....i can only brown one side :)"

"My son: Mommy I can't wait to grow up and be a man. Me: Don't be silly son, you can't do both"

"What's better than being up to your knees in beer? Being up to your nuts in cider."