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Joke of the Day

"When is a fetus viable? To a Christian, it's the moment of conception. To a Jew, it's when he graduates from medical school. -my mom heard this on the radio"

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"Why are there no elderly people in Africa? They all die when they turn aidy."
"When I have to put on one of those thick leather weightlifter belts to take a shit, I know it's time to eat a vegetable."
"What kind of donuts did Bob Marley prefer? The ones with Jam in"
"I want to leave this world the way I entered it... By accident!"
"What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective? Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide"
"If Santa knows who's being bad, maybe he could have given us a heads-up during the early planning stages of the Holocaust."
"Just saw a license plate that said ""LUV SLUG."" I hope it shrivels up when they salt the roads in the winter."
"What's common between a lawyer and an eccentric billionaire with bad teeth? Both have a very expensive retainer."
"Keep honking. I'm reloading."