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Joke of the Day

"CAT VAMPIRE: let me in! ME: ok CAT VAMPIRE: you fool! now I will suck your bl- ME: *closes door* CAT VAMPIRE: ... CAT VAMPIRE: let me out"

"My girlfriend doesn't give me any space in the bed, so I bought a bigger bed."

"I just walked through a spiderweb and invented the next Macarena."

"Which animal makes the best pie? A human."

"Jesus spoke to me yesterday... But I don't like talking to my roofers, so I had his brother Juan tell him not to do that in the future."

"Twat did you say? I cunt hear you."

"What happen when you put Einstein in a -20C clean room? You get a solid-state frizzicist."

"Rocket Ship Did you hear about the rocket ship that didn't go up to space? It had projectile dysfunction"

"What do you call a blonde with two brain cells? Pregnant"

"What do you say when you see two cleaning ladies making out in public? Get a broom."