14863

Joke of the Day

"The way to end up $1 Million using the stock market LEGIT invest 10 million into it"

"Guess what my lonesome self and my right hand did for Valentines day. Sign Valentines cards for my relatives."

"If you can make a woman laugh, you're almost there.......... If you're almost there & she laughs, now that's a different thing....."

"Don't get it. Heard the phrase ""keep your friends clothes & keep your enemies clothes, sir"". Now I have a bunch of naked people angry at me."

"Hey, black licorice, stop calling yourself ""candy"". You are nothing but a chewy fart and we both know it."

"This milk's brand name is ""Organic Valley."" I can't drink it. Too grossed out picturing livers, spleens and pancreases sitting in a valley."

"Did you know that if you drop and break a piece of folk art, it just turns into more folk art?"

"'I' before 'E' , except after 'C' Weird."

"This spider just got away from me because I made the classic villain mistake of telling him my whole evil plan before killing him."

"[date with girl I met at the park] Waiter: is everything ok, sir? Me:*fighting back the tears* Her:*sigh* he expected me to bring my dog."