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Joke of the Day

"The shortest route between point A and point B is under construction."

"One day On Reddit I would love to see ""I'm a schizophrenic... Ask us anything!"""

"Women are like hurricanes... They enter your life wet and wild, and they leave with your lawn furniture THAT WE BOUGHT TOGETHER SARAH, YOU BITCH."

"Damn girl, is your dad in jail? Cuz if I was your dad, I'd be in jail."

"My wife and I have lost over 150lbs combined!!! And my wife has lost 200!"

"Did you see that Sargento is going to stop selling shredded cheese? They're trying to make America grate again"

"Let me tell you know what I know about dawrves... very little"

"How does any girl have less than 90 thousand Instagram followers?"

"Funny one liner if the purpose of technology is to make our lives easier, then i need a ""voice-based-auto-adjustable-underwear""."

"How you turn a washer into a snow blower? Hand her a shovel"