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Joke of the Day

"Leading up to the wedding (NAME) has been on a whiskey diet. His lost three days already."

"I bet Lorde is a gold digger She is a minor after all."

"Me: What are you doing?! 5-year-old: Hugging my sister. Me: Hugs don't start with a flying tackle. 5: Me: 5: The good ones do."

"I would show you a Liszt of all the music jokes I know... But to be Franck, I don't think you could Handel them!"

"Why did Kim Jong Un have so many books? Because he is North Korea's great reader."

"[nsfw] Studies show that nine out of ten people enjoy gang rape."

"Milk toast was probably named by same lazy guy that named the fireplace and waterfall."

"[at work] Carl, did you get naked when you used the bathroom? *standing there with his shirt & pants on backwards* ""No...why do you ask?"""

"If Eve wore a fig leaf, what did Adam wear? A hole in it."

"If the emoji I wanna text is not in the ""recently used,"" you may have to wait 3 days till I find it."