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Joke of the Day

"Roses are Red, Violets are blue... ""Gorilla shot at Cincinnati Zoo."""

"It's hunting season and fox like you shouldnt be out in the open!"

"Bank called asking if my credit card had been stolen. They were concerned because it hadn't been used at the liquor store since LAST Friday."

"- Hey babe, do you like how I did my makeup? - Yes and if you want I can go and kill Batman with you."

"Showed my husband all the super-awesome Twitter lists I'm on. He put me on a list called People I Probably Shouldn't Have Married."

"I feel bad for people without arms... ... They can't rapidly take off their bottoms when they need to take a massive dump."

"Why don't they let Pakistanis take corners in soccer? Because they'll set up a shop."

"My priest was pretty upset today. Nobody at mass bought him a Father's Day card."

"Can you believe they're still together after all that crap?!? (Who?) MY BUTTCHEEKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What's does the self reliant alcoholic Rabbi Pedophile do in his spare time? Very little, he brews."