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Joke of the Day
"What's the difference between matter and a hormone? You can't make matter."
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"""Pumpkin spiceberg, literally right ahead!"" -White girl Titanic"
"I know I'm supposed to be outraged about this whole NSA phone tapping scandal, but I've got to admit, its a little refreshing that after a decade of marriage, someone is finally listening to me."
"How do you find Illuminati's secret hideout? You triangulate their position!"
"I hate being bipolar... It's awesome!"
"Expeditions to Mars Russian expedition: ""Well, there is Mars."" American expedition: ""Well, there are the life forms. Disgusting"" Chinese expedition: ""Not if you know how to cook them properly"""
"You can only regret what you remember. -Tequila"
"A termite walks into a bar... He says, ""Is the bar tender here?"""
"A donkey fell into a bowl of sugar Now that's a sweet ass"
"My doctor said I shouldn't hug people, admittedly it was 10 years ago when I had the flu but I still use that one."