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Joke of the Day

"Why do fish swim in salt water? Because pepper would make them sneeze."

"Selling a vacuum has to be nearly impossible. They all suck."

"I don't discriminate. Love whoever you want. Pansexual is cool with me. I mean, I like pans, I guess. They fry bacon and stuff."

"""Meh"" -apathetic cow"

"Me: Hi. Can I help you? Him: I'm here about the wanted ad for the one night stand Me: Great. Where is it? Him: What? Me: The nightstand."

"Starting to think my wife might have a tumor. She's had a headache for the past 15 years."

"I'm quite confident that the reason i'm single Is because i didn't forward that chain letter in 2008"

"When I die, I might have an open casket funeral. Remains to be seen."

"What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee? Urine trouble!"

"Did you hear about the guy who killed the sphinx? i hear he's one bad-ass motherfucker..."