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Joke of the Day
"Selling a vacuum has to be nearly impossible. They all suck."
Next Joke
"A nurse takes out a rectal thermometer from her shirt pocket And thinks, Some asshole has got my pen."
"For me, getting girls is like spreading butter... It's much easier with a knife."
"[skywriting] Karen, do you have the checkbook? The skywriting guy won't let me out of the plane until he gets his deposit."
"A man spent millions on an impressionist painting then ate it... He put his Monet where his mouth is."
"I saw a midget carrying a TV to his car I asked him: ""Do you need some help carrying that plasma?"" He said: ""Fuck off asshole, it's an iPad"""
"Accordion to a recent survey, replacing words with the names of musical instruments in a sentence often goes undetected."
"I think Taylor Swift might actually just be an instagram filter"
"The doctor told me I only had 2 years to live so I shot him The judge gave me 30 years."
"They say puns are bad to bring up during gay sex... Butt fuck that."