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Joke of the Day

"What did the doctor say to the man who couldn't pee? Urine trouble!"

"What is the fluid capacity of Monica Lewinsky's mouth? 1 US Leader."

"I would've been terrible in 50 Shades because the second a guy said ""I don't do romance"" I would laugh and be like NOBODY SAYS THAT BYE"

"*Walks in late to dinner* I see fed people."

"The Macarena is pretty menacing if you do it in silence in the queue at the bank."

"There are 10 kinds of people in the world... Those who understand binary, and those who don't."

"*adult mutant ninja turtles sit in the kitchen doing taxes* you guys wanna smoke a joint? ""were not teens anymore dude"" *donatello sobs*"

"I told the bartender i wanted a 9/11 Bartender: ""whats a 9/11?"" me: ""a fucked up Manhattan"""

"*Walks into school* Simon says give me your Pokemon cards Ok now close your eyes *Walks out* Kids are so dumb I didn't even say Simon says"

"Why did the blonde bring a ladder to the party? I told her that drinks were on the house"