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Joke of the Day

"What's DJ Khaleds favourite number? 11 because it has another 1."

"I'm an archaeologist... My life is in ruins."

"I spent this past weekend baby-proofing my house... I'm not having a baby, but I hung up a bunch of anime posters to make sure that I never do."

"[ouija board] Who are you? *board begins spelling* G-R-E-E-N--M-A-R-I-O What the -- a Luigi Board?! W-A-H-O-O--I-T-S-A--M-E"

"I've realized that when my wife says ""what?"" its not because she didnt hear me, shes just giving me a chance to unsay something I just said."

"What do you call someone who pushes people down stairs? A stairorist."

"German scientists have discovered a new drug, derived from the bacteria *Adolfus hitlerii*, which will be applied to people with ADD. Its ad campaign will carry the slogan ""It helps Jew concentrate"""

"Asterisks are awesome. *tosses a midget dressed in sexy maid outfit off the Eiffel Tower with parachute made of pancakes*"

"What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? A bingo machine."

"I was checking out a Jewish girl the other day. Her barcode wouldn't scan."