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Joke of the Day

"I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted. I'm quitting this cold turkey."

"The teenage boy cashier just told my wife that her tampon coupon is expired...and all of Target went silent."

"Why did the scarecrow get a promotion? He was out-standing in his field"

"An Islamic terrorist walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""Good evening, sir! Would you like some alcohol?"" The terrorist replies, ""Yes, Allah-t of it!"""

"I measured your Mother's resistance to being accelerated by a force. The answer was massive."

"An old lady at the gym told me her dad married her mom because she could catch chickens.... Pretty sure she had a pretty firm grip on something else too...."

"Why isn't Luke on the poster for The Force Awakens? He's a bit Shywalker. I'm so, so sorry everyone."

"World of Warcraft. The only time I let my 9 year old play with a priest."

"Why did the bandit from Burma vote for Trump and Hillary to be the primary candidates? Because, Master Wayne, some men just want to watch the world burn."

"If 666 is evil Does that mean that 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil?"