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Joke of the Day

"I've had Thanksgiving dinner four times and I'm kind of getting addicted. I'm quitting this cold turkey."

"Who is the coolest guy at the hospital? The ultra sound guy. And who covers when hes off sick? The hip replacement guy."

"What do you call a developmentally challenged member of the ruling elite? An autistocrat."

"So I finally found a girl that swallows... But she's bulimic so it really doesn't count."

"Every time you make a ""your mom"" joke, I call my mom to check. Most of you are liars."

"Where does a black Jew stand? At the *back* of the gas chamber."

"STAR WARS SPOILER! Darth Vader is Luke's father"

"[getting a checkup] DOCTOR: On average, how much alcohol do you drink in a day? ME: *sweating* NO ONE SAID THERE WOULD BE ANY MATH"

"What do you call an Italian Yeti? A Spaghyeti!"

"What do you get when you cross a Mexican and a black man? Someone who steals your job then doesn't show up."