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Joke of the Day

"If 666 is evil Does that mean that 25.8069758011 is the root of all evil?"

"[My relationship with TV] There's nothing on. *watches nothing for the next six hours."

"I'm 0C and what is this? Get it? Lol"

"Left home on Friday night, got bck home on Monday night. Grandma: U kids dnt knw hw 2 party, wen I ws ur age, I'd come back after a month"

"Tell me you love me. Then get in the kitchen, make me a sandwich and let me play my video games so I know it's real"

"I don't care what the expiration date says, I have to smell it."

"Why don't black people listen to country music? Every time the hear the word hoedown they think their sister's been shot."

"If H20 is on the inside of fire hydrants, what is on the outside? K9P."

"Going on the Obama diet... Putin will eat my lunch everyday..."

"I'm such a heavy sleeper that i still wouldn't wake up even if you... shot me in the face"