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Joke of the Day

"An old lady at the gym told me her dad married her mom because she could catch chickens.... Pretty sure she had a pretty firm grip on something else too...."

"You are so ugly... ...the last time you got a piece of ass was when your hand ripped through the toilet paper."

"Why the chicken cross the road .... to get the Chinese newspaper. Do you get it? Neither do I, I get the new york times"

"Why did the black person cross the road? To fry the chicken."

"I See your 7 year old jokes and I raise my own, What do you get when you cross the ocean with a Train Station? A Whale Way"

"""Truth or dare"" ""Truth"" ""What's your credit card number"""

"What do you call a seven course Irish meal? A 6-pack and a potato."

"My daughter bought a new mattress for when she goes off to school, but was undecided about whether to keep it. I told her to sleep on it."

"Damn girl, are you a hoover? Cuz dam"

"So Darwin comes across a sad penguin in an airport.... He goes up to the penguin and asks, ""Why so angry, you cute little fella?"" The penguin looks up to him and says ""flight's delayed."""