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Joke of the Day

"The teenage boy cashier just told my wife that her tampon coupon is expired...and all of Target went silent."

"Donald Trump isn't the candidate the Republicans need, he's the candidate they deserve. (as punishment for all the stuff they've done over the last eight years)"

"Q: What were the unauthorized protestors guilty of doing? A: Marching banned."

"For all the effort I put into faking it, I should really just start writing down the confirmation number at the end of a phone call."

"A naked Jew with an erection running at full speed hits a wall He breaks his nose."

"My dad is in the hospital, he needed to get some toes amputated because of his diabetes. He's been good about it. He says he's lactose intolerant."

"If you REALLY need to get laid tonight, put on your oldest or most ridiculous underwear. It works every single time."

"Where do poor meatballs live? In the *spaghetto.*"

"What is simultaneously the best and sh*ttiest way to start your day? Pooping"

"Have you ever been looking at someone right before they fall and when they do you think ""Maybe I did that with my mind""?"