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Joke of the Day
"Why can't you go fishing with Skrillex? Because he always drops the bass."
Next Joke
"Why was the baby strawberry crying? Because his mother was in a jam."
"A fun thing to do is comment ""that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night"" on all my married friends Facebook family photos"
"""Whoa nice car"" Thanks. I dropped 40K on a new set of wheels [whispers to friend] ""What kind of idiot spends $40,000 on tires"""
"Everything happens for a reason. But, sometimes the reason is that you're stupid and you make bad decisions."
"<--- Tips cup back and lightly taps the bottom. Fifty pieces of ice fall out on face."
"What idiot decided it should be my foot's asleep instead of coma toes?"
"[Walmart customer service] ME: i want to talk to the manager. MANAGER: hi sir is there a problem? ME: no, i just want to talk."
"I'm unsure whether I like my beard. But it's growing on me."
"Bill Cosby sure does love pudding.... his dick where it doesnt belong."