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Joke of the Day

"A fun thing to do is comment ""that ain't the girl you were with at the bar the other night"" on all my married friends Facebook family photos"

"Found a site for hardcore Harambe Supporters It's called Omegle, Everyone has their dicks out for Harambe."

"Why aren't the Eagles worried about big cats sneaking up on them? They know there ain't no way to hide those lion eyes."

"I think Newton was actually hit by pigeon shit when he discovered gravity.. Falling of apple was just a 'dignified' cover up...!!"

"I can't believe I got fired from my job at the DNA testing facility. After all the blood, sweat, and tears I put in."

"""I just called to say I love you."" -Stevie Wonder not understanding how prank calls work"

"Why are Americans bad at chess? They lost two towers"

"I had five hundred Kit Kats in my fridge and my mate had one in his. I pressured him into giving his to a homeless person. That's basically how celebrity charity appeals work."

"I can't afford a police siren so I just taped a crying baby to the top of my car. It's working, people are moving out of my way."

"My ""15 minutes of fame"" are when I get my paycheck and everyone I owe money comes to collect"