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Joke of the Day

"How do a neckbeard's cells divide? by m'tosis"

"[during sex] HER: I want you to make me scream ME: *tosses spider onto her chest*"

"Software boner. Why did the computer need Viagra? Because it had a 3.5 inch floppy disk."

"You can't make everyone happy. You aren't a jar of Nutella."

"My bank says my password isn't strong enough. Did it ever stop and think that my password has a lot going on right now?"

"2 dads walk into a bar... One turns to the other and says ""that hurt""."

"A white man, an arab and an asian walk naked into a bar... ...the bartender yells ""Is this some kind of a joke?"""

"Why did the big pig want to go on stage? There was a lot of ham in him."

"The Beatles and Pink Floyd collaborated on an Anti-Semitic song. It was called ""Hey Jew"" ."

"""I'll have what she's having."" "" Sir, this is a gynecolo-"" ""Shhhh.. *puts finger over Dr's lips* I said I'll have what she's having."""