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Joke of the Day

"Every time I walk into a store with my dad Worker: ""Can I help you?"" Dad: ""No, he was born like that."""

"This year I've decided I'm going to exercise religiously... That means I'm going to work out on Easter and Christmas and I'm done."

"Hockey is more enjoyable if you pretend they're fighting over the world's last Oreo."

"How does a woman pick up Donald Trump? With a pooper-scooper."

"FYI Don't make snow angels in a dog park."

"How many Jews can fit in a car? 2 In the front, 2 in the back, and six million in the ash tray! *Drops mic* *Gets shot*"

"I heard about a new drug that is super addictive and leaves one in a state of sustained indifference. Parents, talk to your children about Crystal Meh."

"Treat your relationships as you would your teeth, daily attention and they could last a lifetime, too bad the same can't be said for hair."

"Life and beer are very similar........chill for best results."

"My favorite music genre is a refined form of rock... Metal"