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Joke of the Day

"Every time I walk into a store with my dad Worker: ""Can I help you?"" Dad: ""No, he was born like that."""

"What is harder than telling the difference between Chinese people? Telling the difference between Chinese people with down syndrome."

"Apple have begun making prison guards... Apparently they like to lock up."

"You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they're going."

"Earth got put in Milky Way Special Ed for being bi-polar."

"Boy, is my face red! Fingering a suspect means something totally different at the police station, you guys."

"What does picking your nose and masturbating have in common? It feels fuckin awesome but when you get caught its awkward as hell."

"A woman is on trial for beating her husband to death with his guitar collection. Judge asks, ""First offender?"" She replied: ""No, first a Gibson, and then a Fender."""

"That's definitely not my ringtone, but I'm going to have to check my phone anyway."

"My coworker loses her keycard so much she just legally changed her name to Guest Badge."