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Joke of the Day

"I heard about a new drug that is super addictive and leaves one in a state of sustained indifference. Parents, talk to your children about Crystal Meh."

"What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a boner? I don't have a Lamborghini right now"

"What has been in the news specifically because it comes in small boxes? Jared's penis"

"Your body is a temple. Mine is a graveyard."

"Probably drank too much coffee this morning. Probably drank too much. Probably too much coffee. Drank too much. Coffee. Probably."

"Necrophilia The insatiable urge to crack open a cold one"

"What does a forward thinking person say? wwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww"

"What's the difference between traffic and strawberries? You can eat strawberry jam."

"Being a hitman is very lucrative I make a living and a killing off of it"

"JESUS: [picks up bread] this is my body JESUS: [picks up wine] this is my blood JESUS: [accidentally picks up his cat] this is my...cat"