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Joke of the Day

"I appreciate people venturing into entrepreneurship but is it really necessary to call yourself CEO when your firm is total of 3 people?"

"Hard to believe that Twitter is six years old. Seems like just yesterday that I spoke to my family."

"Took my 3rd self-defense class, so if anyone feels like attacking me straight on, very slowly, w/ a fake knife in their right hand, BRING IT"

"My grandmother was just diagnosed with Parkinson's disease She looks pretty shaken up about it"

"So, Facebook is celebrating its 10th birthday. What do you buy for the social media app that makes you hate everyone?"

"Why Does Donald Trump Oppose Single Payer? Because he is a Toupeer"

"Ugly girls are basically just dudes I'm not allowed to fight."

"Why is it so hard to sleep with Asian women? It can be a slippery slope."

"Never hit a man with eyeglasses Use your fist instead. >Enthusiastically told by my 6 year old brother, I thought it was worth sharing."

"Bartender: What can I get you? Me: Drunk"