147932

Joke of the Day

"Cute skinny girls wearing weird mismatched clothes: hot quirky hipsters Me wearing weird mismatched clothes: homeless lady from the 80s"

"What's the difference between pink and purple? Your grip."

"I'm torn on what i really think about masturbation. on one hand it feels good."

"A farmer has 178 cows roaming freely in his field. After he rounds them up, he has 200 cows."

"Want to hear a joke about Jonestown? Nevermind, the punchline is too long."

"Do you believe in God? ""Do you believe in God?"" ""Of course! There's only one J.C. for me!"" AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!! !!!"

"What are an Italian bench warmer's favorite vegetables? Asparagi!"

"What does DNA stand for National Dyslexia Association."

"Only in America do we chain $2.00 ink pens to the counter but leave our $58000 cars out in the driveway."

"Kids are fun to be around. Then they start kicking, screaming, drooling, crying, fighting and then you're just grateful they're not yours."