10105

Joke of the Day

"When you ask me a question, would you prefer the blank stare or the eye roll as a response? I like to be prepared."

"If swimming is such great cardio, explain manatees."

"I found I out I was concieved at my grandmothers funeral... Appearently, my Mum was trying comfort him. Stupid mourning wood."

"What do polar bears have for lunch ? Ice burger !"

"Why are fish always on drugs? They just keep getting hooked."

"Fat girl on a table I went to bar , and there was a fat girl dancing on the tables "" nice legs"" I said "" you think so?"" She replied "" Sure,most tables would have collapsed by now!"""

"I was playing snooker with my mate, Dave, down the pub last night. We finished setting the table up and he said to me, ""do you wanna break?"" ""We've haven't even started yet, you lazy cunt!"""

"I am the designated driver of 5 40ish women attending a wine tasting. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated during this difficult time."

"Psychiatrists say girls tend to marry men like their fathers. That is probably the reason mothers cry at weddings."

"I don't know who you are, but if you don't stop sending me phone books, I will find you.....and I will kill you."