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Joke of the Day

"Pal: On your date, go to a French restaurant. And remember! Girls love a wine connoisseur. Later... Me: we'll both have the wine connoisseur"

"They say that ignorance is bliss But I'm just as happy not knowing!"

"The doctor gave me 4 months to live, so I shot him. Judge gave me 20 years. Problem solved."

"""Ameh."" ~ Atheists at the end of a prayer"

"I'm not gay, but 20 is still 20."

"Bae: come over Me: can we ever have normal conversations Bae: my parents aren't home Me: why can't you just ask how good my day was for once"

"They say milk is good for your teeth. You know what else is good for your teeth? Minding your own damn business."

"Everyone should own large grizzly bear in case they ever need to defend themselves against one."

"When the guy at Subway asks what type of bread you'd like, say cookies. When he laughs, ask to speak to the manager."

"Oh shit, I have a boner. Time to stop twittering and get on Chatroulette"