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Joke of the Day

"Justin Bieber has found Jesus which means that Jesus is really great at a lot of things but hiding is not one of them."

"I put one slice of toast in my toaster and got two out... Must have been mitoastis"

"My kid swallowed a torch today... It's ok - it was removed and now he's delighted."

"If you want a waitress to leave you alone for a half hour, tell her you need 5 more minutes to order."

"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."

"What's the difference between regular AIDS and north korean AIDS? Regular AIDS is incurable. North Korean AIDS is invincible!"

"What do you call the score keeper at a jihadi football game? The Taliman."

"Why couldn't the clown make balloon animals for the children? With inflation raising the cost he couldn't afford it."

"How do you make a Kleenex dance? Blow a little boogie into it!"

"Why did the people not like the restaurant on the moon? There was no atmosphere"