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Joke of the Day

"[invasion] *aircrafts dropping from the sky *explosions everywhere *mass hysteria Me scrolling phone: Where was that alien invader gif?"

Next Joke
 
"You know America you kinda brought Bieber on yourselves. There's not enough Canadians to make him go viral. Sorry but thems the truth."
"Trying to make pancakes this morning and it turns out I didn't get the spatula in the divorce."
"Do you know what is ""Deja POO"" ? It's the feeling that you've heard this crap before."
"Some days I'm more on than off, but most days I'm just a moron."
"Why did the dog sleep on the chandelier? Because he was a light sleeper."
"I need to find out what my company needs to do in order to get protests by topless women."
"There's one fantasy scene in 50 Shades of Grey that I'd love to be part of in real life... ...specifically, the part where the protagonist gets a job straight out of college."
"I do NOT trust my bowels... I just think they're full of shit _"
"what do you think of the number 4? you mean like on a scale of 1 to 10? stolen from: https://www.reddit.com/r/IAmA/comments/31g6qc/i_am_a_don_hertzfeldt_filmmaker_ama/cq1dzn8"