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Joke of the Day

"Dr: You've gained some weight Me: You said I should take it easy Dr: That was a yr ago & you were sick Me: WELL I'M NOT A MIND READER"

"How did the gangster die below the Empire State Building? Someone dropped a dime on him."

"What did the fish say when he ran into a wall? ""DAM!"""

"A cop stops a drunk man and asks ""how high are you?"" The man replies. ""That is wrong English. You should say 'Hi how are you?'"""

"What did the dog get when he multiplied 497 by 684? The wrong answer."

"Homeless guy walking by this bar patio looked at me and said ""I'm your future,"" and I was like ""Sweet, we have a cool beard."""

"Never realized how out of shape I was until I started sweating after using scissors for 30 seconds."

"I had a dream about a woman who becomes a horse at night. It was a nightmare."

"I was wondering why the night had to be this long... ...Then it dawned upon me."

"Whoever said the camera adds 10 pounds should stop eating cameras."