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Joke of the Day

"I decided to write down all the pieces of classical music I want to play before I die... ...it's my bucket Liszt."

"I'm offended that horses don't put their hooves over their hearts during the National Anthem when they win a gold in equestrian events."

"55 in a 25 and let's just say I wasn't referring to my driving."

"Sometimes I masturbate while driving The passengers on my bus don't like it, but the high school hasn't fired me yet..."

"If I had a nickel for every time some didn't understand me I'd make more cents."

"You know why it's women and children first off of a sinking ship? It's so that the men can have some peace and quiet to figure out a solution."

"What did one saggy boob say to the other? We better perk up or they're going to think we're nuts!"

"Ironic! That even if Oscar pistorious is found not guilty .He still won't walk free"

"What did one orphan say to the other orphan? Robin, get in the Batmobile."