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Joke of the Day

"I decided to write down all the pieces of classical music I want to play before I die... ...it's my bucket Liszt."

"All I'm saying is if I were president I would make a law banning women from saying ""We need to talk"""

"I don't even bother filling out the ""From"" field on gift tags during Xmas. One look at the wrap job, and its VERY obvious."

"The year is 2027 AD. I take a drag from my vitamin cigarette and transfer 17 Bitcoins to a 3D-printed babe-bot for a cyber HJ. Life is good."

"Why do writers always feel cold? Because they are surrounded by drafts!"

"1) Go to Starbucks 2) Order coffee 3) Say your name is Waldo 4) Leave"

"What's the difference between a truck load of babies and a truck load of bowling balls? There's only one you can unload with a pitchfork. Edit: Who said something about dead babies?"

"Some people wonder why Arnold Schwarzenegger hasn't run for President... It's only because he's Austrian. And we all know what happened last time an Austrian came to power..."

"Why was the struggling mange seen shaking the club cat ? To see if there was any more money in the kitty !"

"I am finally going to stop procrastinating. Starting tomorrow..."