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Joke of the Day

"What do snake charmers do in the rain? Turn on their windshield vipers."

"They might as well put ""Uhhh..."" in front of every item on drive-thru menus."

"According to serving sizes tonight, I'm a family of 4."

"Pantyhose How many animals can you fit in a pantyhose? 10 little piggies 2 calves 1 ass 1 beaver A bunch of hares and.. 1 fish that no one can find."

"Him: So what are you into? Me: *thinking of the newspaper cutouts of Justin Trudeau all over my bedroom walls and ceiling* Politics."

"I told my girlfriend that I am over my ex... I don't have to feel guilty anymore."

"I crossed a Lhasa Apso with a Shih tzu. But all I got was Lhasa Shit."

"crazy to think that back in the 1940s, extra guacamole at chipotle only cost a nickel"

"That moment when someone asks you 'How are you doing?' and you respond 'I'm doing ok. Getting better each day' & they stab you for answering"

"I've just started an online dating site for Siamese twins. It's called Connect 4."