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Joke of the Day

"People accuse me of babying my dog, which I think is ridiculous. It's not like I'm breast feeding her. She won't even take to my nipple."

"What do you get if you cross an eagle with a skunk? A bird that stinks to high heaven."

"Oral contraceptive I recently had an experience with oral contraceptives. I asked a woman if she would like have sex with me. She said, ""No""."

"How many aardvarks can ride on an elephant? Six... three on the back and three in the trunk!"

"My girlfriend and I were practicing safe sex... i told her sex with a condom on doesn't usually feel as good. she pulled it off"

"Whats the hardest part about being a pedophile you ask? Trying to fit in."

"Did you hear about the King who got killed during a torrential downpour, and his only heirs were pets? It's been reigning cats and dogs ever since"

"Why don't Polish girls use vibrators? They're afraid of chipping their teeth."

"Why did the moth go into the dentist's office? The light was on."

"How many babies does it take to paint a house? It depends how hard you throw them."