171976

Joke of the Day

"Did you hear about the woman who blew all her money on powerball tickets? She made a lotto bad decisions...."

"What do you get when you cross a tiger with a cabbage? Man-eating coleslaw."

"Hey baby, wanna violate the Pauli Exclusion Principle with me?"

"I try not to spend too much time online... ...but Wi-Fight it?"

"I was trying to get out of the friend zone with a girl. She put me in the brother zone... Good thing I live in Alabama!"

"My poetic look on the election Roses are Red. Violets are Blue. Damn it, America! What the fuck did you do?!"

"Sometimes when my wife tells me she loves me I get the feeling it's the tennis kind."

"A vulture carrying two dead squirrels lines up to board a plane And the flight attendant says to him, ""I'm terribly sorry, sir, but we only allow one carrion."""

"All out of clean spoons so I guess I'll just eat this fat free yogurt with my gun."

"Do cats stutter? No, but they paws."