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Joke of the Day

"Tell me what just happened in France! ...Oh, Nice!"

"What do you call a controversy surrounding toothpaste. Colgate."

"I've just got back from an undertakers convention and the main topic was new ways of disposing of the dead There was a lot of thinking outside of the box."

"Three drums and a cymbal rolled down a hill ba dum dum ching"

"So I posted this on r/ShowerThoughts ""I wonder where I put the soap?"" (Mods deleted it.)"

"[ear is bleeding for 3 days straight] hmm better keep an eye on that. [laptop slow for one second] i gotta run AdWare & antivirus right now"

"What's the difference between a chicken and a hen? The spelling."

"When my mom told me to stop acting like a flamingo I had to put my foot down."

"Why is outer space so cold? All the space heaters are on earth!"

"*cop pulls me over* Have you been drinking? No I- *water bottle now full of wine* *officer lowers shades. its Jesus* No one will believe you"