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Joke of the Day

"Santa is the ultimate hipster. Works one day a year and spends the rest of the year judging you."

"Never trust a depressed elevator. It'll only bring you down."

"I like to shoot at stop signs, especially those little ones on the side of school buses."

"How many film directors does it take to change a light bulb? Just one but he wants to do it thirty-two times and when he's done everyone says that his last light bulb was much better."

"Did you hear about the guy whose penis looks like Professor X? The resemblance is uncanny."

"They say that 1 out of a group of 5 guys is gay.... I'm really hoping it's Jake, because he's *super cute*."

"Girlfriend Joke - Written by Me I was in the shower with my girlfriend the other day and I asked her, ""Have you ever been peed on in the shower?"" She said, ""NO!"" I said, ""Yes, Yes you have!"""

"Knock knock who's there Jo Jo who? Jo moms!"

"Knock Knock! -Who's there? -I eat mop..."

"I found the worlds worst thesaurus. Not only is it terrible, it's terrible."