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Joke of the Day

"""I...I don't know, doc. I guess I'm just tired of being pushed around all the time."" -Revolving Doors"

"How do you jerk off a sprinter? Pull a fast one."

"Guys, read the fine print before selling your soul to the devil. There's no way to opt out of his email newsletters."

"What's a businessman's favourite dessert? Profiteroles!"

"This whole Target credit card theft is a real nightmare For this reason, I only buy stuff with credit cards I find in lost wallets."

"I wish I could play little league again. I'd be so much better now."

"What is yellow and eats beetles for a living? Yoko Ono."

"Why did the boy become an astronaut? Because he was told he was no earthly good."

"The teacher asked what comes after the number 69... The student replies, ""Mouthwash."""

"Why do jews have a big nose? Because air comes free of charge."