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Joke of the Day

"Where do detectives go to have a drink? The Search Bar."

"I'm thinking of becoming Hispanic just for the upside-down exclamation point. I like what you guys did there. I'm jealous."

"My sex life is like a Bond villain... Goldfinger"

"I just found out I'm colorblind... It sure came out of the yellow."

"What does a Japanese man experience when he marries a Jewish woman? marital bris"

"If you really think about it, James Earl Jones and Morgan Freeman tickling each other would be pretty much the greatest thing ever."

"A Mexican magician says he will disappear on the count of three. He says, ""Uno....dos....*poof*"" He disappeared without a tres"

"What do you get if you mix up together an agnostic, a dyslexic and an insomniac? A guy who is up all night wondering if there is a dog."

"[At a One Direction concert] No, I'm not a...I SAID NO I'M NOT A BIG ONE DIRECTION FAN I JUST HATE MYSELF AND FEEL THE NEED TO SELF PUNISH"

"What's the difference between Batman, and a Black man Batman can go to the store without robin"