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Joke of the Day
"""i'm not even that high."" -me talking to the microwave"
Next Joke
"I don't have a dirty mind. I have a sexy imagination."
"Two jokes... Why did the chicken cross the road? -To get to your house. ***************** *Knock Knock* ""Who's there?"" The chicken."
"Why do women have legs for? To not leave a snail trail behind them."
"I remember the last thing my granpa said to me before he kicked the bucket. he said, ""hey, how far do you think I can kick this bucket?"""
"Detective: Where were you on the night- Me: Twitter Detective: Between the hour- Me: Twitter Detective: I wasn't fini- Me: Twitter"
"What is a zebra? 26 sizes larger than an ""A"" bra."
"What is a bigot? A bigot is anyone winning an argument with a liberal."
"I accidentally swallowed a piece of string the other day. When it finally came out the back end, it was all tied up. I shit you knot"
"My girlfriend says she needs time and distance... Is she calculating velocity?"