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Joke of the Day
"My wife asked me to stop singing Wonderwall all the time... I said maybe"
Next Joke
"I heard something about a Finding Dory Trailer being released today, but I forgot..."
"If I had five coconuts and I gave you three how many would I have left ? I don't know. Why not ? In our school we do all our arithmetic in apples and oranges."
"Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a ferrari? I dont have a ferrari in my garage."
"Maybe zombies just have shampoo in their eyes."
"How do you fit 4 girls on a bar stool? Flip it over"
"""8. I have 8 condoms full of hummus taped to my person right now. Anyway, enough about me, can I get you folks started with an appetizer?"""
"I taught myself to stop using filler words like ""um"" [weather channel in the background] ""Chance of rain today is 40%"" Better grab my brella"
"My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra."
"A: Took my temperature today. B: Oh really? A: No, rectally."