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Joke of the Day

"My wife asked me to bring home some stuff for the pancakes yesterday. She wasn't happy when I came back with a push up bra."

"Women that date guys with bad grammar are the goodest."

"Knock Knock Who's there ! Amaso ! Amaso who ? Amaso sorry you don't remember me !"

"Scottish Engineers Q: What is the anthem for Scottish Engineers? A: ""All the Single Laddies"" Edit: Read it carefully"

"Why does the Devil hate the holiday Season? Because he gets so many letters from dyslexic children."

"True intimacy is chatting within a shared Google Doc"

"X: I hate when the cat just stands like that, frozen. Why does he do that? Me: He's on paws. X: ... Me: On... paws. X: I hate you so much."

"Want to play the rape game? No!! *wink* That's the spirit"

"Q: How does a blonde part their hair? A1: (Action of scissoring legs apart) A2: By doing the splits."

"I was in bed with a girl and she said to me, ""I want you to make me scream"". So I said, ""OK. I'll just go outside, put on a ski mask and then kick your front door in. That usually works."""