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Joke of the Day

"You know something bad's gonna happen in a Law & Order when the electric guitar kicks in"

"Whenever I look in the mirror I call myself ugly. because it hurts more coming from someone pretty."

"I said to my GF ""Please get me a newspaper."" ""Don't be silly,"" she replied ""you can borrow my iPad."" That spider never knew what hit it!"

"In which month is the NYC fashion week? Fabruary, of course."

"So how does this work now? Does General McChrystal have to give up his Foursquare ""Mayor specials"" in Kandahar?"

"Me: ""Do you think it's strange to talk to yourself?"" Me: ""No."""

"I invented a realistic sex simulator. It doesn't work on me because realistically nobody wants to have sex with me."

"How can one get rid of the echo while playing a movie? Get some furniture"

"What was the bridge player's political view? No-trump!"

"Statistics are like Bikini Atoll Their essence utterly obliterated for the purpose of proving a political point."